Generic Commercial
Bob: Hi Charlie!
Charlie (sad): Oh, hi Bob.
Bob: What's wrong Charlie? You look kinda down.
Charlie: Oh, it's just that I have <name of problem> and I don't know what to do about it.
Bob: Have you tried <name of product or service>?
Charlie: <name of product or service>?
Bob: Yes, <name of product or service>! They can <selling point 1>, <selling point 2>, and they can even <selling point 3>.
Charlie: That sounds great, but what about <potential problem>?
Bob: Oh no, <name of product or service> isn't like those other brands. Hey, where are you going?
Charlie: Can't talk Bob. I've got to get some of <name of product or service>
<Bob and Charlie laugh>

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Actually, If I ever did top myself I have the perfect T-shirt to wear. It says "I used to be an optimist but then my prescription ran out."